Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
