Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
