In the future we'll all be gay
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
