he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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