I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
