Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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