oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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