There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
