What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
