ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
