My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
