This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
