I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
