And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
