Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
