Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
