I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
