the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
