He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
