Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
