Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
