I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
