you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
