I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
