i'm signing you up for texting rehab
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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