thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
