Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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