Sacagawea was the original milf.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize