That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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