Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
