I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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