come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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