The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
