I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
