i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
