it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
