There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
