Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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