you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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