i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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