im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
