whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
