I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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