Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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