how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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