wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
