Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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