I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
