I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
