Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
