Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
