So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
