How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
