I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize