You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
