Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
